Welcome to No More Happiness
The title is supposed to be humor, based on a skit from Brian Regan. Upon learning he needs to give up dairy. he declares ‘no more happiness.’ At the moment I can relate.
My caring daughter in law, who I live with part time, has seen me suffer after eating certain foods. This has been a regular part of my life for as long as I can remember, so she thoughtfully gave me a food sensitivity test from Everlywell.
Now, I have to admit, that I didn’t run straight away to do the test. The steps were supposed to be done in a timely manner, for example, you shouldn’t complete the registration for your kit until you were ready to send in your samples. Unlike the DNA test my daughter had given me, which required my spit, this test would ask for blood. I don’t like the idea of poking my own finger until it bleeds, but I think I delayed mostly because I could see the importance of doing it right, and I wanted a clear head to do all the steps correctly. My daughter had her own test to take (for allergies), so she got involved helping me, and that made it easier for me.
So you need to drink a lot of water, warm hands, and do some physical fitness before you stab your finger, getting the blood pumping and ready to squeeze out onto the circles on the card. I had some difficulty with aim, so my daughter grumbled, but helped me. She doesn’t like to see blood, but she also saw that I was going to be hopeless on my own. She really let me and anyone else who would listen know that it was at a great sacrifice to her to squeeze the blood out of her mama’s finger. So that went on for awhile. We waited for our samples to dry, then packaged up our envelopes, went to the website to enter our kits and time of taking the samples. It was too late to take it to the mailbox, so my daughter mentioned to me to take it out in the morning. Which I remembered to do. She did ask me the next day, I coyly answered, remembering the drama of her doing all my work for me the previous day, “Yes, it was the least I could do.” She liked and appreciated that.
So my test only took a few days and soon I had my results. There were a few surprises:
- Butter
- Casein
- Cheese, Emmental
- Cheese, Processed
- Chicken
- Chickpea
- Curry
- Egg Yolk
- Eggplant
- Fig
- Grapeleaf
- Hops
- Kefir
- Lamb
- Milk, Cows
- Oats
- Octupus
- Parsley
- Pepper, Bell
- Pepper, Cayenne
- Pine Nut
- Rye
- Scallop
- Shitake Mushroom
- Spelt
- Squash
- Vanilla
- Wheat
- Yogurt
There are some foods on this list I absolutely LOVE, like Scallops, Chickpeas, and Squash. Others like wheat, oats, and cheese, just seem like part of life. Other foods, I had to look them up, as I didn’t even know what they were. Each food was assigned a class. Class 1 or Class 2. Those two numbers represent low to moderate sensitivity. I didn’t see highly sensitive to any particular one, which would be Class 3.
I could do a few things with this information. I could consult and share the results with my doctor, and see what his suggestions are. I could also just stop eating those on the list and see how I feel, perhaps gradually adding those that are a case 1. Not sure I am mentally ready for an elimination diet just yet, but the Everlywell website says, “Elevated levels of IgG reaction to a certain food does not necessarily mean you have an intolerance, but research shows that by eliminating foods that cause an IgG reaction, you can potentially improve certain food-related symptoms – including gastrointestinal distress, headaches, dry and itchy skin, and fatigue.”
Oddly enough, back to the dairy and happiness, even though cow’s milk showed sensitivity, Cheddar, Mozzarella, and Cottage cheeses show up as normal. So I looked up Emmental cheese, and that would include Swiss cheese. Processed cheese would include that which John calls “Plastic cheese.”
With my daughter Laura’s help, this was a fun exercise. I really thank Miranda for being so thoughtful, I think we all knew it would mean, “No more happiness.”
