Chris Wray Kucha, Missing a Friend
It’s been told to me several times, that among Chrissy’s close friends I am likely the person who has known her the longest.
I met Chrissy Wray when we were about 7 or 8 years old.
To be honest, when we were introduced, she was a bit scary. I don’t think I had ever met a young girl that loud and that talkative. She could rattle on and on. If she thought it, she said it – without a filter. It’s not every day you meet someone so transparent.
It wasn’t long after that initial meeting, she decided we were going to be best friends. I have to say the decision was all hers, because I tried resisting, often running the other way when I saw her coming.
There was no escape. When Chrissy Wray made up her mind – you’re friends, and that’s it.
I resolved finally there was no fighting it. Perhaps we were the odd couple that complimented each other very well. Our problems weren’t the same, our tastes weren’t the same, we were opposites that completed the other as friends.
I had no idea back then that this person would take me into a whirlwind of events, dramas, fun, silliness, laughter, and tears. She had unending energy and was always full throttle at 150%.
Speaking of talkative…I can remember more than one phone call, sat at my kitchen table (remember our phones weren’t so mobile back then) and she was talking and talking. When my mom walked into the kitchen she could quickly recognize that since I wasn’t doing any talking, who I must be talking to. She also noticed that I was crossing my legs, desperate to run to the bathroom. My mom thought my situation rather funny, as I finally gave up trying to get a word in, put the phone down, and ran to the bathroom, returned to the kitchen, picked up the phone, Chris hadn’t even missed me. She was still talking on and on. If this wasn’t funny enough, this happened on more than one occasion.
Speaking of my mom and Chris.
My mom loved to cook and Chris loved to eat. They were perfect partners in all things food. So many times Chris was sat at that same kitchen table with my mom all smiles delighted in how Chris would just eat it all up. Cakes, fudge, even mom’s experiments for dinner, all scarfed up by Chris with sounds of approvals.
Chrissy’s home was different. Her mom was in a wheelchair and I had a lot to learn about what that was like for Chris to have a parent that was disabled, but she was so much fun to be around, one soon forgot all about the chair and just watched those mischievous eyes and listened to her stories. Chris’s dad had dogs in the house that resembled bears. They were a little harder to get used to!
Chris’s mom was like a second mom and I spent many hours in her home. One funny memory is when we were in our teens, Miss Ann gave us permission to go out, but we had to be home by 10 pm. For some reason we didn’t get home until way past midnight and just in case we were heard at all, we turned every clock in the house as quick as we could back two hours. We were thorough and complete with our plan! All clocks turned back, we tiptoed to bed and slept. Next morning, our cover was blown when Miss Ann came into the living room shaking her arm, complaining, “Something is wrong with my watch!”
Chris looked and me, and I looked at her, and we both said in unison, “We forgot the watch!” Laughing at ourselves. We were in hysterics thinking we could pull it off forgetting something as simple as a watch.
We had to admit to the poor lady, her watch was fine, just every clock in the house was wrong. She ended up laughing too.
Thanks to Chris, I ended up in the back seat of a police car going up Mountain Road with everyone we knew from school looking at us. We had done nothing wrong, but she convinced a very reluctant Police officer to take us to her mother’s doctor, where she had been dropped of prior, on Mountain Road as Chris realized she forgot her money to get into the Roller Skating Rink only after her dad gave us a ride there and left. The questions I had to answer on Monday at school were so embarrassing. Chrissy wasn’t embarrassed at all, she told anyone who would listen she rode in police car up Mountain Road being scant with the details and left the rest to create a scandal!
I can’t even count the times we went to that Roller Skating Rink. Each week she had a new love interest because it was never about roller skating, it was about the BOYS. Anyone who knew her back then will be able to tell you she was a little boy crazy. We were there on Mondays, Fridays, and Saturdays, sometimes even Saturday afternoons as well.
As we grew older, she outgrew roller skating and moved on to Disco dancing. Weekends were about putting on our dancing shoes and going to Reflections, Bojangles, and often times even the dance floor of the Holiday Inn by the airport. I don’t know how I let her drag me out every weekend, but soon I had a closet full of dance dresses, dancing shoes, and would wait for her on the weekends and take me to the location of her choice.
Chris was a keen observer. If we were going down Mountain Road as she drove her mom’s Cadillac, she could tell you who’s headlights were coming toward us. I barely even noticed the car and she recognized the headlights! Chris missed her calling in life I think when I say should have been a private investigator. If a steady boyfriend had lied to her and told her he would be working and those headlights appeared coming towards us, that Cadillac would turn around so fast, and the drama for the night would start right there. The same thing would happen if it was a girl who had interfered with her love life and had caused trouble.
School, of course, wasn’t about studying very much. I shouldn’t tell Cameron this, but her books were routinely left in the back seat of her car, and our days would be spent discussing school dances, gossip, and BOYS.
One such school dance ended with me slapping my very best friend at the time across the face. Pam might remember some of this event as it ended with leaving the school dance early, being followed to Chrissy’s house by half the jocks in school and our dates getting into fights with boys they didn’t even know. Police were called. Chrissy screamed a few obscenities over and over again and I hauled off and let her have it. Upon hearing the police sirens, I might be a good friend, but my date convinced me it was time to make a discreet exit, and off we went in the darkness, walking home, which wasn’t too far. The next morning I had completely convinced myself, that I didn’t hit my best friend, I dreamed it…until the phone rang, it was Chris, “Thanks Barb for slapping me. I suppose I was out of control.” And that was Chris, thanking me for something I didn’t even dare believe I had done.
At a certain time in our teens, I invited her to our church, to join in our youth group. I can tell you Lake Shore Baptist likely was never the same after that. We almost got kicked out of a hotel at a church teen weekend. But after a time at Lake Shore, it was there she realized she needed Jesus, walked up the aisle, and told the pastor that she was a sinner and very much wanted Jesus to be her Savior. She was soon baptized, and many of our other activities included church youth camp weekends, all night bowling for the teens, singing in the youth choir, and it sure didn’t hurt that the activities often included BOYS.
Adulthood
After many school dances, school proms, some time apart while I went to Spain, we became married ladies. As an aside, she always favored dark-haired boys and I had a weakness for redheads. In the end, I married a dark man, and she married the redhead! Go figure. But even as married ladies, that didn’t stop the hours spent on the phone, one day’s drama turned into a new one for the next day. There were shopping trips, household tips, work-related stories, parties to plan, and husbands to discuss of course.
Speaking of household tips, only Chris could have a kitchen that after making a delicious spaghetti, that the walls turned into polka dots. I was eating my spaghetti but my eyes looked left, looked right. Finally all around. No one said a thing. Honestly? Can we not talk about the elephant in the room? I opened my mouth and laughed, what’s with the polka dots that have appeared all around your walls?? Jim had a lengthy, scientific description of nails in the walls, mixed with the steam from boiling the pasta. I can hardly eat spaghetti to this day and not remember Chris and Jim’s spotted walls.
Later in life, we became mothers. Like everything, we had different mothering styles, but we sure had passionate and protective similarities. Our discussions turned into what lengths we would take to protect our children. My life sure took an exaggerated turn we never dreamed possible could happen. As many times in the past, our lives seemed to always be about what Chris wanted to do, or wanted to talk about, one thing is clear, I only ever had to ask for a little help and my dear friend was ALWAYS there for me.
From then on Chris and Jim took me and my children into their bosom and wrapped us in their love and care. Our love for each other transferred to loving each others children. We appreciated so much in each others’ kids and immersed ourselves in their care and futures.
This also extended to our grandchildren.
This crazy loud little girl, attached herself to me, and decided I was her friend.
There is no doubt she was a yin to my yang. We balanced each other.
Her impact cannot be measured. There isn’t enough time to tell all the stories, songs,
events, secrets, that tie us as forever friends. I will spend the rest of MY life sharing them with her family, my family, and whoever cares to listen, because just maybe some of Chris has rubbed off on me.
How can I say good-bye to all of this?
Frankly, I really don’t have to…
I am so happy she decided to trust Jesus.
This is not good-bye
This is see you later.
My guess is her Mom made some crab soup and my Mom has already welcomed her and finished off a fresh batch of fudge for her arrival.
Chris, there is none like you, mold made and seriously tossed away. There is only room on heaven and earth for one Chrissy.
Thank you Lord for our Chris, I ask for comfort for her precious family and those of us who now have this huge hole in our lives. Fill us with your peace as we remember this one unique lady who can never be replaced.
